etendi was discussed in a recent article by James L. Nowlin, P.C., www.jameslnowlin.com. The article discusses options available to parents involved with child visitation in Texas. The article can be found here.
Greatdad.com just referenced in a recent blog article. Check out the link.
http://blogs.greatdad.com/2009/06/02/two-great-fathers-day-gifts-for-divorced-dads
By Shelly D. Mahon, Doctoral Candidate UW Madison
Divorce represents the loss of a relationship and the hopes and dreams of a future together. When one experiences loss, life as it was is changed forever. While recognizing and dealing with feelings of grief and loss can be difficult and painful, experts suggest that the best way to move forward is to move through it. Researcher, Alan Wolfelt said,
We must journey all through it, sometimes meandering the side roads, sometimes plowing directly into its raw center.
There is an important distinction between grieving and mourning. While grieving is what you feel on the inside, mourning is what you express outward to others. Dealing with the loss experienced from divorce involves outwardly mourning through your grief. How this happens is likely to be different for the two adults involved in the divorce. While circumstances differ greatly, research shows that those who initiate the divorce may feel more relief than grief. Adult are more likely to feel grief when they are surprised by the divorce or have a desire to work through problems and keep the marriage together.
Children’s responses vary greatly depending on gender, age, and how family members interacted with one another before and after the divorce. So, where do you start? Confront the reality that the relationship is over and focus on rebuilding your life and maintaining relationships with children. It is normal for both parents and children to relive good and bad memories. Children may talk about memories that are difficult for you, or at a bad time. Step back, take a deep breath, and remember that children are part of the future. Children need their parents to find other adults to support them so they are able to be there for their children.
We have a strong commitment to excellence in technology and an even stronger commitment to our families. We have experienced first-hand the pain of being separated from loved ones, from divorce, business travel and from parents or grandparents in other parts of the country or even other parts of the world.
http://etendi.com is dedicated to making the world a better place, one family at a time.
Shelly D. Mahon, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Human Development and Family Studies. Ms Mahon is a doctoral candidate at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Email: mdmahon@wisc.edu.
© 2009 Shelly D. Mahon
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelly_D._Mahon
APA Style Citation:
Mahon, S. D. (2009, February 6). Dealing With Grief and Loss After Divorce. Retrieved February 18, 2009, from http://ezinearticles.com/?id=1964695
By Shelly D. Mahon, Doctoral Candidate UW Madison
Divorce signifies both an end to the marital relationship and a change in the parent-child relationship. In additional to dealing with their own feelings around the divorce, parents develop new concerns and fears about how their children are handling the divorce. While children’s response to divorce can vary widely, researchers have uncovered some common threads that highlight the needs of children at different ages. Regardless of age, don’t expect children to deal with the divorce overnight. The effects of divorce can last more than a couple years, but improve more quickly when parents continually reinforce that they love them and when they do their best to keep children out of parental conflict.
One of the most important factors influencing how young children, 0-3 adjust to divorce is parents ability to take care of themselves. When parents’ needs are met, they are better able to recognize and attend to the needs of their children. Children this age may express feelings of anxiety or sadness by complaining that they feel sick. This gives a parent a great opportunity to show the child that they will continue to take care of them. Children under the age of three may express fears of abandonment between visitations because they do not always have the developmental capacity to internalize memories of the nonresidential parent. Finding ways to have a consistent presence can help minimize these feelings.
Older children become more aware of their emotions and the emotions of those around them. Remember, children will have many feelings about the divorce and these feelings will change as they grow and gain a greater understanding of what divorce means in their family. Reaffirm that the divorce is an adult decision to live apart and avoid anything that may make children feel blamed. It is also important to limit conflict and never put children in a position where they have to choose between their parents. Children need affirmation that their relationship with each parent is not lost, just different. Help children feel supported, create a space for them to talk, and listen when they express the need to talk.
Adolescents become more aware of issues surrounding the divorce as they become more and more capable of understanding complex issues. As a result, teens may be more likely to ask questions and express a desire to take part in grown-up discussions. While it is normal for adolescents to push you away, they also want to pull you closer. Keep talking with your teens as they continue testing if you really care.
We have a strong commitment to excellence in technology and an even stronger commitment to our families. We have experienced first-hand the pain of being separated from loved ones, from divorce, business travel and from parents or grandparents in other parts of the country or even other parts of the world.
http://etendi.com is dedicated to making the world a better place, one family at a time.
Shelly D. Mahon, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Human Development and Family Studies. Ms Mahon is a doctoral candidate at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Email: mdmahon@wisc.edu.
© 2009 Shelly D. Mahon
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelly_D._Mahon
APA Style Citation:
Mahon, S. D. (2009, February 10). Children of Different Ages Handle Divorce Differently. Retrieved February 18, 2009, from http://ezinearticles.com/?id=1965765
Etendi.com recently released a new version of BRIDGE with a new video configuration wizard and an updated settings panel. The first time you record a video or start a video chat with someone you will be prompted to run the video settings wizard. The video settings wizard will guide you through a few short steps to help you configure your audio and video settings. Running this wizard before first-time video chat will help ensure that you don’t struggle with horrible feedback loops or difficult to hear audio when you enter video chat for the first time.
| If you want to change any of your video settings after running the wizard, etendi BRIDGE has improved its video settings window, too. In addition to the volume and microphone controls, the settings dialog can now record sounds for you to test your configuration. Record and playback sounds as many times as you like until you find settings that work. Additionally, the video settings dialog now allows you to select and test your camera. You no longer have to record a video or enter video chat to see if you’re camera is working, simply open the settings window and if you see an image from your camera in the window you know it’s working. |  |
Divorce is rated as one of the most stressful life experiences people encounter. Dealing with your stress is important to living a productive life and requires paying attention to your emotional needs and letting go of issues that you cannot control. When you are a parent, having less contact with your children can create an emotional void and sometimes you have little control over the amount of one-on-one contact you have with your children.
Fathers are better able to contribute to the well-being of their children when they have ongoing and consistent access to them. Since mothers are awarded primary custody of the children roughly 85% of the time, fathers must establish new and meaningful ways to be engaged in their child’s life when they are apart. Web-based communication technologies can increase both the amount of contact and quality of interactions fathers have with their children, both of which are important to maintaining and continuing to build healthy parent-child relationships.
Studies show that children and adolescents from divorced families experience a sense of security from having a scheduled time to interact with their father. Since physical contact is not always possible, technology offers an alternative method for fathers to stay connected. It is important to find new ways to spend time with your children when you can’t be physically present. For example, you can schedule a weekly time to video-chat, play a game on an interactive whiteboard, or do both at the same time. One father played hangman with his child’s spelling words, while talking on video-chat. He stated,
There is nothing better than seeing the excitement on her face when she guesses a word. I can tell how proud she is, and I feel honored that I get to see it! Plus, It is a great way to be part of her learning.
At this critical juncture, life as it was ends and but a new chapter begins. You will feel less stressed when you take action, get creative, and find ways to interact with your children. Remember that when you take action and care for yourself, you are a better parent, you will feel better and your children will notice!
Shelly D. Mahon, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Human Development and Family Studies. Mahon is a doctoral candidate at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
1430 Linden Dr, Madison, WI 53706-1575,
Phone: 608-263-2381,
Email: mdmahon@wisc.edu.
© 2009 Shelly D. Mahon
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelly_D._Mahon
APA Style Citation:
Mahon, S. D. (2009, January 28). Miss Your Children? Take Action Using Safe, Secure Web Communication Tools. Retrieved February 18, 2009, from http://ezinearticles.com/?id=1931752
Parents play an important role in providing opportunities and encouragement to their child, contributing to the development of personality and character. However, divorce can create an emotional and physical distance between a parent and child, making parents feel disconnected from what the child does with free time. Even when one parent does not see their child regularly, the child still wants both parents to take an interest in the things that they like. Whether children find happiness in sports, performing arts, or clubs, research has shown that children spend an average of five hours per week participating in some kind organized activity. Since young people typically choose these activities, they are an ideal way for parents to learn about the child’s interests.
When divorce occurs, parents have to find new ways to communicate with one another about their child’s activities. Studies show that it is common for parents to experience some conflict, especially for the first two years following the divorce. Even when there is minimal conflict, ex-spouses may find it difficult to communicate effectively with one another. Remember, children still love both parents and want them to be present in their lives. Web-based technologies can be the medium through which a nonresidential parent remain involved in their child’s activities.
These technologies can assist ex-spouses in sharing information. Using a shared calendar is the perfect place to list dates and times of upcoming events and activities. Whenever possible, it is beneficial for nonresidential parents to attend. When distance makes it difficult, parents can use “personal notes” as a reminder to talk with the child about his or her experiences. One child who lived far from her father used video sharing tools to upload a video-message of her singing the solo she would perform in her upcoming play. This provided an opportunity for the child to share and the father to feel included. While parents cannot be at every event, the web allows parents to stay informed, express interest, and maintain an active and ongoing role in their child’s life.
© 2009 Shelly D. Mahon
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelly_D._Mahon
APA Style Citation:
Mahon, S. D. (2009, January 30). Be a Part of Your Child’s Life – Engage in Their Activities Using the Web. Retrieved February 18, 2009, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-a-Part-of-Your-Childs-Life—Engage-in-Their-Activities-Using-the-Web&id=1941319
Divorced parents can feel alienated, lost, and scared that the relationship they have with their child may slip away. It is important for parents to know that they are not alone in the range of emotions initiated as the family adjusts to the many changes they experience. Feelings of sadness and fear around losing day-to-day contact with children are coupled with frustrations around finding the adequate support and resources needed to maintain this important and treasured relationship. This may be especially true for the nonresidential father living away from their children. Not only do contemporary fathers express a strong desire to remain active in their children’s lives, research shows this involvement can protect kids from the harmful effects that have been connected to divorce. Safe, secure web communication tools can offer easy-to-use, and interactive contexts were nonresidential fathers can have day-to-day communication and interaction with their children. Fathers contribute to their child’s development by being a reliable and genuine parent. When fathers maintain a constant presence, they affirm that they love and care for their children. One father shared how applying these ideas helped his relationship with his son.
He has always known I am here and what I will do for him…he can depend on me for whatever he needs….hopefully that has allowed him to lean on me….and given him some strength.
There are many ways in which web-based products can help distant parents be reliable and genuine with their children. Sharing a calendar keeps you informed of the important events taking place in your child’s life. Sending a private, secure message to inquire about a recent test your child took not only shows you care, but also opens the door for your child to talk to you if the test didn’t go well. Uploading a picture that reminds you of your child shows that you were thinking of them. Dropping a quick video message of something you are doing shares a piece of you with your child. Children from divorce want a relationship with both of their parents. The web can provide an interactive meeting place and tools for you to maintain and continue to grow your relationship with your child. Using web-based technology to keep a strong and healthy relationship with your child can seem like a daunting, confusing and scary task. As a parent, you need safe, secure, all-in-one web communication tools to face the fear of losing your child. Through ongoing interactions, you will continue to experience exhilaration and moments that you will never forget.
Shelly D. Mahon, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Human Development and Family Studies. Ms Mahon is a doctoral candidate at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. 1430 Linden Dr, Madison, WI 53706-1575, Phone: 608-263-2381, Email: mdmahon@wisc.edu.
© 2009 Shelly D. Mahon
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelly_D._Mahon
APA Style Citation:
Mahon, S. D. (2009, January 26). Hope For Divorced Parents. Retrieved February 18, 2009, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Hope-For-Divorced-Parents&id=1924358
There may be many reasons why parents and kids can’t be together, with divorce, military service and business travel being a few of the more obvious ones. In all cases, however, the pain of separation is palpable for parents and kids alike. Kids miss their parents and may feel abandoned. Parents miss their kids and may feel guilt and concern about their kids’ emotional well-being.
As parents we want two things. First, we want our kids to grow up to be emotionally healthy and successful adults. Second, we want to experience all the joy and satisfaction of being an integral part of the adventures on their paths to adulthood.
Nothing can replace a hug or a kiss on the cheek, or being at your child’s kindergarten play, or cheering along the sidelines at their first soccer game. Yet, technology is easing the challenges of distance parenting, making it easier for you and your kids to stay connected. Cell phones are abundant. Access to computers has become commonplace, whether at home or at the local library. Moreover, as the capability and prevalence of technology increases, the cost of its use decreases. A capable laptop computer can now be had for less than the price of a typical plane ticket. It is now routine for kids and parents to stay connected by phone and email.
In the last few years, computer video technology has made it simple and cost-effective to have face-to-face calls with your kids via computers equipped with webcams. Since it has been suggested that about two-thirds of all communication is non-verbal, video communication can be a far more effective and satisfying way of communicating with your kids, and they with you. And in the future, you may be able to have more convenient and spontaneous video calls with each other by using only your handheld phones. For now, web-based video phone services such as Skype (skype.com) can get you going by computer.
More recently, technology is being configured to go beyond voice and video communications technologies by giving us tools needed to be even more interactive and more closely connected with our kids. Virtual visitation is becoming a reality. By using a multi-functional tool such as etendi BRIDGE (www.etendi.com), we can now have video calls and simultaneously play online games together, help with homework, and view and discuss photos, videos, or other images together. This tool also encourages parents and kids to build and share online photo collections or scrap albums. When not online together, parents and kids can leave short “thinking of you” notes, as well as longer messages. A shared calendar is also included and helpful for both parents to maintain a shared parenting plan.
Now more than ever, technology provides long distance parents the opportunity to love their kids across the miles.
etendi BRIDGE leapfrogs existing web-based messaging or video communication tools by providing in one web location everything needed to create a true virtual meeting place. Parents, kids and other family members can be online at the same time and have a video phone call, play games or work on homework together. When they can’t be together online, they can create and leave text or video “Thinking of You” messages and use shared web spaces to build custom web pages, photo albums, explore common interests, plan events and build shared memories. http://www.etendi.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Douglas_Little
Boulder, CO (PRWEB) February 9, 2009 — etendi.com announced today that it has formed two key partnerships to help divorced parents maintain active, healthy relationships with their children and cooperative relationships with their former spouse. These partnerships are exciting because parents in a divorce will finally have the guidance and tools they need to maintain strong families before, during, and after a divorce.
The company’s latest product offering, etendi BRIDGE(http://www.etendi.com), is a web-based service which provides parents and kids with a suite of communication tools that can keep them connected even when they don’t live under the same roof every day. It also has features which can facilitate a healthy co-parenting environment.
Since mothers in a divorce are awarded primary custody of the children roughly 85% of the time, fathers must establish new and meaningful ways to be engaged in their child’s life when they are apart. etendi.com is collaborating with researchers at the University of Wisconsin, Madison to develop material designed to help fathers use etendi BRIDGE in ways that maximizes both the amount of contact and the quality of interactions they have with their children online.
The Divorced Fathers Network (DFN), a 401(c)(3) organization started over 10 years ago to provide services to fathers experiencing divorce, is grounded in the beliefs that kids need both of their parents in order to thrive and that former spouses can learn to cooperate and create lifestyles that support co-parenting. DFN assists fathers in dealing with divorce by helping them choose effective mediators, counselors, and attorneys who can assist in reaching fair custody agreements. etendi.com will be sponsoring their efforts and etendi BRIDGE will provide DFN’s fathers and mothers with new tools to foster effective co-parenting environments and keep parents and kids connected. For more information, please visit their website, http://www.divorcedfathers.com.